


Always

by Halevetica



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale doesn't remember Crowley pre fall, Bit of Fluff, Confessions, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Mild Angst, Pining Crowley, pre fall crowley, pre fall relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 07:06:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19351936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halevetica/pseuds/Halevetica
Summary: Crowley has been in love with Aziraphale as long as...well always, and the demon is tired of the angel playing hard to get.





	Always

Falling was painful, that could be said for anyone, but an angel falling had to be the worst of pain. It felt like the air being sucked out of you and being burned alive at the same time. It wasn't something Crowley would ever forget. The smell of singed feathers was burned into his nostrils. But that hadn't even been the worst part. The worst part was losing Aziraphale. Angels were known to be loving. It wasn't uncommon for angels to love each other and Aziraphale and Crowley had most certainly been in love.

Crowley remembered well the day he was told to go into the garden and make a mess of things. He'd seen Aziraphale guarding the eastern gate and it felt like he was falling all over again. He had been sure him becoming a demon would erase his feelings for the angel, but he thought about him often after the fall. Seeing him in the garden had been like a stab to the heart. After tempting Eve, he slithered up next to Aziraphale, anxious for how the angel would react. Aziraphale would either still love him or hate him.

Crowley thought he was prepared for the angel's reaction, but he was wrong. Aziraphale didn't even know who he was. It hurt Crowley like losing him all over again.

Crowley stood staring off at the couple in the distance. His heart ached to reach out to the angel. His angel. Only Aziraphale wasn't his angel, not anymore. He didn't even remember Crowley. How was that possible?

Thunder clapped in the distance as if taunting Crowley, reminding him that this was part of his curse. Falling had taken everything from him, including his angel.

As rain began to patter down around him, Aziraphale lifted a wing to shelter the demon. Crowley stepped in close to take cover. His heart leapt at the possibility that maybe there was an inkling of memory left behind, but Aziraphale continued to stare forwards, not bothering to even glance at the demon.

Crowley had almost asked Aziraphale if he remembered but he'd decided against it. Not wanting to scare the angel. Over the years he would pop in on Aziraphale, mostly to ease his own aching heart. He'd found out from Dagon that all records of the once angels had been erased. It was like they didn't exist. That explained it.

The first few times Crowley had met up with Aziraphale 'by chance' he'd been tempted to tell the angel of their past, but he couldn't bring himself to. He didn't want to burden Aziraphale with the memories he was forced to live with. Instead he decided he would try and win his angel's affection once more.

That proved difficult. Aziraphale was stubborn and tried too hard to please his head office. Crowley knew his angel though. He knew how he thought and how he operated and Crowley had grown on him. Aziraphale tried to claim them as enemies but the demon knew he was just afraid to admit they were friends.

Year after year, century after century, millennia after millennia Crowley did his best to show Aziraphale how much he loved him and yet each time, Aziraphale kept him at arm's length. Even the impeding apocalypse hadn't been enough to get Aziraphale to admit his feelings and Crowley had given up.

They had lived through the apocalypse that wasn't, and yet Crowley felt defeated. He was sitting next to Aziraphale in his Bentley he'd just parked outside of the angel's bookshop.

"Would you like to come in for a glass of wine?" Aziraphale asked with a small smile.

Normally Crowley would have jumped at the chance to spend more time with his angel, but he just didn't have it in him.

"I think maybe-"

Before Crowley could turn him down, Aziraphale cut in.

"I bought that expensive Italian one you like so much. Oh what was it called," Aziraphale frowned in concentration as he tried to remember the name.

"Amarone Della Valpolicella Quinterelli?" Crowley asked, lighting up.

"Yes, that's the one. Quite a tongue twister that," Aziraphale nodded enthusiastically.

Crowley sighed before cutting the engine of his beloved Bentley. "I'd love a glass, angel."

The demon sunk into the old tartan couch as Aziraphale poured them each a glass.

"Are you alright, dear?" Aziraphale asked as he handed Crowley his glass.

Crowley took it and took a large gulp of the expensive liquid. "Fine." Crowley gave a forced smile.

Aziraphale pursed his lips as if to say he didn't believe Crowley.

"Why'd you say no? Why do you always say no?" Crowley blurted then. He was tired and he was losing his fight. He'd fought for six thousand years and he just wanted to know if Aziraphale would ever give in. If the angel would ever feel for him the way he once did so long ago. Crowley would fight for another six thousand years if he knew that Aziraphale would finally come around, but it hurt. It hurt so damn bad. The constant rejection and the pining. He just needed some relief.

"I'm sorry?" Aziraphale frowned around his glass.

"Are you ever gonna say yes to me?" Crowley asked, a new desperation in his tone.

"I don't know what you mean."

"I mean I love you. I've always loved you..." Crowley trailed off before he said anything more.

Aziraphale paused, his glass to his lips. "Crowley," Aziraphale sighed, setting his glass down on the small table that sat next to him.

"Never mind, I've clearly had too much to drink," Crowley waved a dismissive hand. He knew that tone. It was the 'you go too fast for me' tone. It was the 'we're hereditary enemies' tone. A tone Crowley had grown to loath.

Aziraphale leaned forward his soft gaze set on Crowley. "I suppose now is a good a time to say it as any."

Crowley looked up with a frown.

"I love you too, Crowley. I'm sorry it took me so long to say it," Aziraphale dropped his eyes to the old wooden floor between them. "I was a coward. I was afraid what our head offices would say or worse what they would do."

Crowley took his glasses off so he could properly meet Aziraphale's eyes. "You love me?"

"Of course, Crowley. I tried to pretend I didn't, but something always drew me back to you. Saying no was the hardest thing. You don't know how badly I wanted to say yes."

"How long?" Crowley had to know. He knew it wouldn't be as long as Crowley but he had to know how long it took for his angel to come back to him.

Aziraphale let out a heavy sigh, "I've asked myself that question many times over the centuries. Every time I think I know the moment, I recall an earlier time when I may just have not realized. Somehow, I feel that in the garden we had a connection already. Like we'd known each other already. I know that's crazy, but maybe things were always meant to be this way between us. I mean an angel and a demon in love? It's rather silly, isn't it?"

"I don't think it's silly at all," Crowley leaned forward so he was closer to Aziraphale.

"How long have you..." Aziraphale trailed off.

"Like I said, always," Crowley gave a sad smile. He could tell Aziraphale how they'd once loved each other, but there was no need for Aziraphale to feel guilty for not remembering. It wasn't like it was his fault anyway.

"I'm sorry," Aziraphale sighed, dropping his head once again.

Crowley stood and pulled Aziraphale to his feet. "It's okay. I have you now, angel."

Aziraphale pulled Crowley into him, his arms wrapping around the demon gently. "Always."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my lovely readers for supporting me through my ko-fi! I can't thank you enough!!


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